I haven't had a personal connection to an anime before, unlike others. Usually I'd view them out of context, since I would be watching something my brother liked at the time. It's only been a few years since I've decided to watch anime on my own, and that has improved the experience. But what I watched today almost made me cry.
The main part I want to talk about is Nataku's backstory: Apart from when he got powers, Nataku Son had a normal life. However, he believed that he had to get good grades and be the best, because the one time he didn't, his mother became upset with him, and his father with her. This didn't help when he was being experimented on for his Adolla Burst, and asked to go all out on his "Uncle Reaper". When he was given immense strength and power, Nataku believed that he must show everyone that he could live up to their expectations by nearly nuking the facility.
Now, while I may not have been in such extreme of a scenario that I needed to harm others, I have felt the need, by my mum, to excel in every subject, because I keep remembering the one time I failed and my mum scolded me for it. What hasn't helped is that quarantine cut school short and ruined my education. So, on my first tests back, I obviously failed at the majority of them. This didn't sit well with my mum, who gave me some stress about my next tests.
At the end of the episode Kurono, Nataku's "Uncle Reaper", reassures him that he shouldn't be strong, and he should stay weak so he could be easy to pick on. While a lot of people might say that it's selfish or manipulative for him to say that, I personally believe that it's Kurono advising him that he doesn't need to reach anyone's expectations.
My friends have been saying the same thing to me about tests, which has made me become less stressed about them. My teachers believe that my classwork is always excellent, no matter what my test says. But, despite that, I still feel terrible inside whenever my scores are bad, and worse when I tell them to my mum. Personally, I wish that I would fully believe that I don't need to stress about my tests, but a part of me will always remember that one bad Maths test from when I was in primary school, and how my mum reacted to it.
By the way, I don't want you to believe that my mum is all bad. I just have trouble speaking up to her about things I don't like about her.
I'm also probably going to hide this post, as this is very personal to me and I just wanted to vent to someone or something. It doesn't help that my friends aren't into anime, and that I feel awkward when people reference anime out loud.